do we set ourselves up for failure when failure is actually destined to happen?
we struggle against the grips of it and get tangled in net of confusion
it brings us to the surface as we gasp for breath because we're suffocating for the truths
of what really happens
and who's really there
i have only succumbed to the "truths" of what was said to me without
finding out for myself because i was too busy trying to find happiness
but you cannot find happiness delivered to you in a glass bottle labeled "TRUTH"
so i set myself up for failure in hopes that more truths would come out and purposely beat me down
cut me to the core and expose all the secrets that bind me to my place of solitude and comfort
there is no refuge in sleeping when the Word is on your nightstand
and tells you of your wrongs and tells you how much He loves you
selah...
and it begins
that I have not found much security in the arms of another human the way I found them
in Him
always looking out for me, counting my steps, guiding me through...them
and somehow...He recognizes all the failures and speaks the truth into my heart
allowing me to see how stupid I was
in my conquest for equality and love
I do not believe I shall stumble across this truth until death comes and snatches my breath from me
no matter the circumstances
perhaps in a deep sleep of dreams I'll never remember
and look down upon the souls that cast me aside as someone not worth their time
immersed in their own truths and dreams
oh, those annoying dreams.
somehow I need to find peace of mind within Him and only Him
completing the circle of life and ending back at me
the big picture
someone who can walk with their head high
and look death in the face and say it was all worth it
the ride was rough but I've come to my stop
and this is where my journey has ended.